More from the Prophet Mark Twain

The following text comes from Mark Twain Tonight!, edited by – and starring – Hal Holbrook. This television special originally aired on March 6, 1967. I was eleven years old, and loved the burlesque & the Huck Finn sections most of all. I still love those parts, but have come to appreciate the sections which reflect the "bitter" Twain's later years.

At some point, we recorded it or bought the album, for I listened to it several times as I grew up. Like many people of that era, I came to be a Twain fan on the basis on that special. I am of the opinion that Hal Holbrook deserves the Congressional Medal of Honor solely for re-introducing America to one of its greatest authors.

As you read the following text, remember the time. I think Holbrook displayed a special kind of bravery when he repeated these words (likely written around the time of the Spanish-American War) as the country was being rent in reaction to our involvement in Viet Nam.

In support of my contention that Twain was a prophet, the words still ring true today.

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Man is really the most interesting jackass there is ....

Man is the only patriot. He sets himself apart in his own country, under his own flag, and sneers at the other nations. Keeps uniformed assasins on hand at heavy expense to grab slices of other people's countries and keep them from grabbing slices of his, with the result that there's not an acre of ground on the globe that's in the possession of its rightful owner. And in the intrevals between campaigns, he washes the blood from his hands and works for the brotherhood of man — with his mouth.

Man is the only animal that deals in the atrocity of war. He's the only one that, for assorted wages, goes forth in cold blood to exterminate his own kind. He has a motto for this: “Our country right or wrong! Any man who fails to shout it is a traitor; only the others are patriots.”

Say, who is the country? Is it the government? In a republic, the government is merely a servant — a temporary one. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them. Only when the republic's life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it's wrong. Otherwise, the nation has sold its honor for a phrase.

If that phrase needs help, he gets another one. “Even though the war be wrong, we are in it. We must fight it out. We cannot retire without dishonor.” Why, not even a burglar could have said it better.