Wednesday, May 26, 2004

At The Cafeteria

At The Cafeteria

Three women
rise from the table,
then walk east.
One says, "I
can multitask. I'm
a woman."
Three women:
maid, mother, matron,
on their way.
Three women
walk as one.
Another try with the "Octologue", a syllabic form which is supposed to report a monologue, and have an air of mystery. This is more straight reportage (I actually saw & heard what's reported, yesterday).

Along with Mike Snider, I like to occasionally let you peak behind the curtain (the link is to Mike's "draft" blog). Happily, making poetry is not normally as messy as making saugages. At any rate, you'll see below an image of the first two drafts; on the left, the Moleskine Journal ™ (3.5 x 5.5"), on the right, my bedside journal (4.75 x 7").

drafts
Moleskine ™ version
Octologue
Three women
rise from the table
then walk east
Three women
maid, mother, matron
walk as a group
One says, "I
can multitask.
I'm a woman."

The bedside journal version is more or less the final, except I've now given it a title, and I deleted the following lines (beginning at line 7):
Three women,
carrying their trays,
pass me by.
Three

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