Sometime tomorrow morning, I'll be making my annual journey to Winfield, KS, to experience the Walnut Valley Festival. This will be my eighth trip. I've had mixed feelings about the trip. For one thing, there's only 2-3 performers I'm really looking forward to seeing again. For another, it will be another time I'll be hearing all this good music alone.
Winfield can be a lonely place, especially if you're already feeling low. I don't know how well I'll handle it. Don't suppose I will know, until I get there.
A series of disheartening coincidences have led to even more ambiguous feelings.
First, there's the matter of the ticket. I waited until the week of the deadline (8/24) to mail my check. I mailed it on the 20th, it cleared the bank on the 24th. According to the folk in the ticket office, the ticket was mailed on the 22nd. I still haven't received it.
So, here's the arrangement: when I get to the gate, I tell the folk that my ticket was lost in the mail. I tell them that I've spoken to the ticket office, and someone in there will know what to do (I'll be taking folks' names with me). I give them a check for $75 (pre-deadline cost for the show), which they have assured me they will not cash. After the concert, they'll trace the original ticket; I assume that if there's proof I received the ticket mailed on the 22nd, they'll cash the second check. If they can't proof I received the first ticket, they'll return the second check. If the original ticket is waiting for me when I get home, I mail it to them and they return the second check.
All this is a hassle, and it seems counterintuitive to begin your vacation with this much of a hassle. Add to that the distinct possibility that I may very well be out $150 for the excursion. That's not counting gas (currently ~$2.60/gal in Okla.), camping ($7/day), showers ($3/day), and food (estimated at $10/day). My inner miser is seriously stressed out.
But wait, there's more.
I had a blowout when I went to Watonga this July. I got the tire patched and have been running on it since. I decided I better have all the tires checked before I drove all the way to Winfield, KS. It was recommended that I have all four replaced, and it seemed a wise thing to do. While they had it on the rack, they discovered the right front CV joint was broken, and was strongly recommended that I have it replaced as soon as possible.
This also seemed a wise thing to take care of before my trip.
While they were taking care of this, the repair folk noticed that the front brakes were just about worn down to the metal.
That's the point at which the miser said "Enough!"
Oh, yeah: I almost forgot the PCV valve and airhose. The hose was completely burned through. I replaced it for a little less than $25.
You can understand why a part of me is wondering whether the universe is trying to warn me away from this trip. When I'm anxious, and doubting, is when I'm most susceptible to this sort of magical thinking.
Then, there's my left index finger. About two months ago, I got a thorn or some other foreign object stuck right at the first joint. It was too small to nab with fingernails, or even tweezers, so I figured it would either work itself out or the white blood cells would do their duty and destroy the thing. They're doing their job alright: the finger is probably infected - it's certainly swollen, especially in the area where the object entered. It hurts to bend that joint - which makes playing the guitar a challenge. Sometimes it hurts to put any kind of pressure on the finger - even typing, sometimes.
Pam thinks it's traditional for me to wound one of my fretting fingers shortly before Winfield. Last year, I "pruned" either my ring finger or middle finger.
I'm seeing the doctor this morning - in about an hour and a half, in fact. I'm praying the cure is no worse than the ailment.
Again, I wonder whether the universe is jumping up and down, waving its hands, and screaming at me not to drive to Winfield this year.
There's the more reasonable side saying this fear is magical thinking. Sure, I could stay home the rest of the week, but I'm more likely to have a real vacation if I leave town. Sure, I might feel lonely; but I have some choices about that. I can seek out friends, and be open to making new friends. Most often, the person sitting next to you at a Winfield concert is inclined to be friendly.
The stuff with my car and my finger could be seen as consequences of certain choices I've made, rather than any sort of universal messenger service. I've done real well keeping the car oil & lubed, but little else (i.e., tire rotation, and regular brake check-up). I could have made an appointment to see the doc a long time ago about my finger, I put it off as long as possible hoping my body would take care of it.
OK, that last hope may have been reasonable for a month. But I maybe should have called the doc after a month and a half.
Maybe I prefer the magical thinking option because it helps me avoid any personal responsibilty for my choices.
Hmmmm....
LATE ADDITION: Just checked the weather forecast for the Winfield area, and there's an 80% chance of showers for tomorrow. Severe weather possible. Do I really want to pitch a tent in this?
Could be part of the fun.
On the other hand, it could be another example of the "Powers That Be" jumping up & down, waving hands, etc., to get my attention.
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