Rose for all the mothers

This rose is for all the mothers
whose sons will not come home
from the war.
This is a rose for the mothers
whose sons will lose their limbs.
This rose is for the mothers
whose daughters learn to kill,
whose daughters close their wombs
because of the blood they've shed.
This is a rose for the mothers
who want to forget vengeance
and seek to learn forgiveness.
This rose is for the mothers
whose daughters have lost husbands,
whose husbands are torn by shrapnel,
by nightmare murders, by broken speech.
This is a rose for the mothers
who would study peace and compassion;
who refuse to study war.
This rose is for the mothers
who close their ears
to murderous lies.
This rose is for you.
This rose is for you,
pray to practice the beautiful path.
Pray to study peace.
Pray to walk with compassion.

A New Bishop for Oklahoma

I'm taking a brief break in sharing my travel photos at Jonah 365 in order to share something more recent: a picture from a historic occasion. This is the scene from the election of a new Bishop for the Episcopal Church in Oklahoma.

It is historic for a number of reasons, but primarily because the Bishop was elected on the first ballot. Our current bishop, Robert Moody, was also elected on the first ballot - 20 years ago. At that time, he was the seventh bishop in the Episcopal Church to be elected on the first ballot. I'm sure there have been one or two others in the past 20 years, but I doubt there were many.

Everyone I spoke to express surprise concerning the first ballot election. First, there was a slate of six well-qualified candidates, three of whom were natives of Oklahoma (only one of which is still resident in Oklahoma). Second, there are the issues which are supposedly tearing our communion apart - issues having to do, primarily, with human sexuality.

I had expected this division to be reflected in the election results. All of the candidates pledged to uphold current policy (no ordinations of homosexuals, no same-sex weddings or blessings). None expressed an opinion that the policy should be different. One or two, however, expressed an interpretation of Scripture which would put them in the conservative camp.

One, whose brother was gay, and had died of AIDS, was especially sympathetic to a "progressive" view.

Another candidate was rumored to be involved with the "Anglican Communion Network", which supports a "literal" interpretation of scripture and supports crossing of Diocesean borders by foreign bishops. The candidate in question denies any link to the "Network", but there are hints in his profile that he is sympathetic to their cause.

Given these factors, it was a great blessing to elect someone on the first ballot.

Oklahoma's bishop-elect is the Rev. Dr. Edward J. Konieczny (kun NYETZ nee). I have heard positive reports on "Father Ed" which suggest he has the gifts of humility, compassion, and loving assertive leadership.

77/365

Here I am in full-on photog mode. Got my snap-brim cap turned backwards. Concentrating on catching the shot under challenging circumstances. Picture taken in a reflective column at the east edge of Leadership Square in downtown OKC.

Emotional Composite

Composite 07Mar10

Reading right to left:
Happy, Joyous, Ecstatic, Elated
(Props to Gary Larson)

Post #1830

70/365

Memory suggests this picture was taken in the fall of 1984. All I can say for certain is, the picture was taken sometime shortly after I had acknowledged that I was an alcoholic. The date I've written down for that momentous date is Sept. 22, 1984.

This picture has a companion, posted at Jonah 365. That picture was taken yesterday, Saturday, March 10, 2007.

I remember I had gone to visit Andrea. I think it was Andrea. I know her husband who took this picture, but it seems like they were divorced by the time this was taken.

I'm going to remember the details after 20 years?

Actually, the picture was taken at Andrea's mother's house. It was on the west side of Norman. The good side of town.

I look happy. Compare it to the picture I took Saturday, I which I look very serious. I tend to look serious when I'm posing for myself. I'm focused on beating the timer to my chair. I'm focused on being posed just so before the camera triggers. So, the seriousness you see in that new picture may be misleading.

That's all I'm saying.

I don't remember the details of this day, but I remember feelings of the time. I was wound up. Tight as a cheap watch. I was wired for sound, as I like to say. Not that I needed a drink, per se, but I did have to reassess my identity as a person who did not drink.

And Larry asked me if he could take my picture. At the time, I didn't like to have my picture taken. So, I was nervous about that, too.

That's not necessarily happiness you see. I think it's a nervous smile.

I think I'm better centered now. I am walking a contented road. I walk the beauty path.

Not counting communion wine and the occasional O'Doule's, I haven't had a drink since that Sept in 1984. Not bragging. I have other bad habits; the difference being the other bad habits are not self-destructive.

I walk a sober path. Yet I also dance. I dance for sorrow, cry for joy. I breath cleansing air.

I know about resurrection. It's not much. Can't brag about that, either. I wasn't near death. I wasn't sticking needles in my arms. I had long before quit speed, and had stopped dropping acid. I hadn't smoked "wacky tobaccy" in a long, long time.

I drank to get drunk, is all. Even when I swore it would be only one, it turned into five. I passed out at parties. Nan still remembers the evening I wrapped around the large wooden spool - the kind used for heavy cables, then as post-hippie furniture - and feel asleep. Well, I was tired; the party was boring; I went to sleep.

I didn't die. I had a job that got the rent in on time. I had a room full of books and records. I had friends, and I had the proper proportion of spiritual hunger.

The last time I drank was at a church function. The college group at church. It was cheap box wine. I didn't get drunk. I didn't act inappropriately. I only had the one plastic faux stem-ware glass. I may not have even finished it.

Thing is, I had promised myself I wouldn't drink that night. I didn't even care for cheap box wine. May have been a sweet wine, which I don't like. But I still drank. I can't remember why.

Somehow, all it took to convince me I had a problem was an unfinished glass of cheap wine.

Yes, I didn't die. But I can truthfully divide my life into "before" and "after". But, isn't that a kind of resurrection. Can I say, as John Newton once did, "I once was lost, but now I'm found"?

Yes, I can. The path on this side of before/after is the better path. It is the healthier path.

Status Report

I took my last steroid on Tuesday. My mental attitude is still positive. I don't feel like I'm on speed anymore. In fact, yesterday afternoon, I got extremely tired at work. As soon as I got home, I changed then lay down on the couch I slept for an hour and a half.

Now, part of that tiredness may have been due to "coming down" from the steroids. The other part may have been due to my assisting with a project which was due today. I have been working straight through the day (except for lunch break), with minimal "Internet breaks". This is actually a pleasant change of pace; I'm not paid a lot, but I do like feeling that I've earned it. And I appreciate feeling useful.

Between being busy at work and cat sitting, I haven't had time to revamp the appearance of "Love During Wartime". My goal is to work on it this Saturday.

Meanwhile, I've been posting pictures from this past weekend at my alternablog, Jonah 365. Go take a look and leave a trace.

Housekeeping

I recently "up-graded" to the new Blogger. The initial step of this upgrade did not affect my painstakingly designed layout. The second step did; the system assumes most people who use Blogger are not familiar with xhtml (probably a safe assumption) or Cascading Style Sheets (css). There are a relatively few prefab templates this type of user is required to select. The one you see now is the least objectionable.

It's taken some digging, but I've found the instructions to create one's own design within the new xhtml requirements of the new Blogger. I anticipate it will take me at least a week to recreate the design according to their specs.

Another thing I lost in the "upgrade" was the Haloscan comments. I prefer this system, as people can sign a name without the requirement of a Google account.

One last thing: it's occurred to me I may have been overly enthusiastic in setting up a separate site for my Project 365 entries. This page has suffered (in a sense) because energy has been focused on the new site. I'm seriously considering consolidating the two pages; in other words, once I've fixed the layout of this page, I'll start doing Project 365 entries here and stop posting on Jonah 365.

If you, dear reader, have a preference, record them in the comments. Note that anonymous comments will be accepted.