The Abortionist Washes His Hands

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after the short film The Abortionist Washes His Hands & Slips on His Wristwatch by Gary S—
I.
Straight as an arrow, or crooked as a lake,
Maybe you can tell me what diff'rence that might make...
Jason & the Argonauts go sailin' late tonight,
I guess you'll have to find your love by candle light
     I know we have to go along,
     But must we keep on going to the end of
this song?

Your face was a dream when I was a stranger,
Your baby left without a sound or a word;
I see you lying there in that blood-stained manger —
Was that a tear of grief that I heard?
     I know we have to go along,
     But must we keep on going to the end of
this song?

Bloody hands and shirt, and blood on your sheets,
With just a little more practice at love,
You know this ceremony would be complete,
Now, tell me, is it push & pull or could it be push & shove?
     I know we have to go along,
     But must we keep on going to the end of
this song?

Now I wash my hands of this whole affair,
Slip on my wrist watch and pretend that I don't care
I see you lie there with your belly so suddenly empty
I guess bein' alive ain't always the same as bein' free
     I know we have to go along,
     But must we keep on going to the end of
this song?

Jason & the Argonauts go sailin late tonight
I guess you'll have to find your love by candle light

II.
Knife's in his hand, a grin's in his teeth,
I wonder what could be on his mind?
The blood in your mouth, ooh, it tastes so sweet,
You were the best lover I could find.

   All the Fifth Avenue ladies tell me they don't care
   With their long satin slacks and that comb in their
hair
   But they aren't takin' me anywhere....
   Tell me could it be that I'm too late
   Tell me could it be maybe that I'm too late?

There was a child you were not to have
I'm glad to take it off your hands
And if emptiness doesn't drive you mad
Just wait til the final frame of your plans

   Music in your laughter or in your clothes
   I'm not the one to choose between them, I suppose
   But let me have one more look before this novel closes
   Tell me could it be that I'm too late
   Tell me could it be now baby that I'm too late?

Jason & the Argonauts go sailin' late tonight
I guess you'll have to find your love by candle light
Written circa 1976 - '77; I was between 20 - 21

---

There you have it, as promised, the lyrics to "The Abortionist Washes His Hands" a.k.a., "Jason & the Argonauts." As I said a few weeks ago, this is a song Dr. Omed requests almost everytime we get together and I have a guitar in tow.

Hard to describe what this is like musically. It's a pastiche of a number of musical styles: punk, rock, and folk. People who have heard me perform it discern Dylan's influence, but that could be as much as in the way I sing it as anything. Sometimes, like Dylan toward the end of the "Hard Rain" tour, I'll draw out rhyming syllables; e.g., "Bein' alive ain't always the same as being FREEEEeeEEEE!"

Not much I can recall about the movie. The abortionist was played by Rusty N—, who is gay. Rusty was the first openly gay man I met. Oddly enough, I didn't feel threatened by him, since he had a crush on one of my friends — which lead me to believe I wasn't Rusty's type. Anyway, I came up with the first line as a comment on his sexuality. My reasoning was that if a heterosexual was "straight as an arrow," then a homosexual might be "as crooked as a lake." Well, I liked it better than "queer as a $3 bill".

In the third verse (the one beginning "Bloody hands and shirt"), there's the line "Is it push and pull or could it be just push & shove". This was a restatement of a notion the director, Gary S&mash; was considering at the time, which he called "the push and pull of love." Which meant, I think, the sort of give and take that occurs in a healthy relationship.

In the final stanza of part one (beginning "Now I wash my hands") there's a line I added a couple of years after the first draft. Originally the line was "Freedom is too high a price to pay for being free" (how Dostoevskian of me!). Then, one afternoon I saw a line in a Pogo book: "Bein' alive ain't always the same as bein' free." I liked it so much that I stole it outright.

The second part also has bits that reference the film, which somehow involved the abortionist viewing his practice as a form of love-making. For example, there's a scene in which either the abortionist or the patient is spitting up blood (ergo, "The blood in your mouth tastes so sweet").

Which brings up, I suppose, the issue of abortion. I'm fairly certain Gary did/does support a woman's right to choose. But the concept — and what I can remember of the images — of the movie are somewhat twisted. The song itself could be read as opposing abortion. For example, "I see you lie there in your blood-stained manger / Was that a tear of grief that I heard?" could be interpretted to mean that the woman regrets the procedure. There's a line in the third verse of Part Two which suggests that the loss of the child will drive the woman mad.

There was a period where I had a pretty clear vision of what a recording would be like. Part Two would end with my singing "Tell me, can it be that I'm too late" over & over, while the music builds in intensity and nears cacophony, and a voice-over reads the stages of a fetus' development. You know, the sort of thing the Pro-Life people are fond of, e.g., "eyes can be detected at x weeks". The association alone would reasonably lead one to believe the author is pro-life.

If you had asked me at the time, I would have said that I was pro-choice. I'm not sure where the pro-life undertone comes from, unless it's an unconscious reflection of something I detected in the movie. And, you know, being pro-choice is not the same as being "anti" life. I believe women should maintain the right to choose; but if an individual woman asked my opinion, I would encourage her to consider adoption (depending on the conditions, of course).

As a film song, this one holds the unique position of being longer than the actual film. When I really get into it, the thing lasts for close to 15 minutes (although these days it more likely would clock in at 9-10 minutes). The movie was somewhere around 14. The song is also unique in that more people have heard it than saw the movie that inspired it. Now, a great deal more people have read the lyrics than probably saw the movie.

The image at the top right represents the original draft of the lyrics. The chord structure is burned in my memory, but is not otherwise recorded. I don't think even Dana has seen that original draft. The page was originally torn, by the by. I have bowdelerized one of the doodles in the right-hand margin for PG-13 consumption, but otherwise what you see is what I created in 1978.

Hope it was worth the wait.