i got them mean ol' watergatebuggin' blues again, mama

Well, some friends of mine down the way,
they didn't have anything to do one day,
so they all got together and they did say,
"Let's help Richard Nixon win
this campaign someway."
So, they though they'd check out
every ding-dang fool
who wouldn't vote for Nixon this year.
They said, "Let's make a list
of these enemies - of the nation -
of you and me."
Well, they got Joe Namath
and Bill Cosby too,
and some of those high-fullutin'
news paper reporters and,
brother, they got you and me too.
Well, time passed, and
things was goin' slow and
whaddya know -
they decided to investigate
Daniel Elsberg.
And it just so happened his psychiatrist's office
was right next door to the
Democratic National Headquarters.
They figured, well it's best
we make two trips at once -
save time that way -
so they all got together
and they did say:
"Don't be late
Gotta rob the Watergate"

Well, they were don' pretty well,
plantin' bugs and
diggin' in the garbage pail.
Like I say, they was makin' good steam -
until the policemen came in.
And they said to these men:
"Whaddya think you're doin' up here!?"
And my friends, these men said -
they looked into the policemen's eyes -
they were very calm -
they were not shy -
and they said real low,
calm and cool:
"Executive Privilege!"
"Don't be late
Gotta rob the Watergate"

Well, my friends, Tricky Dicky found out;
he began to run and he began to shout:
"We can't let the facts of this get out!
I wouldn't be elected, that's for sure."
He said, "We can't let the public know this!
Why their faith in the government would be destroyed."
Well, Nixon, there's just one thing
I've got to say to you -
even though just one thing'll never do -
these are my wise words,
so listen closely:
Remember Checkers!
"Don't be late
Gotta rob the Watergate"

Now, my friend, John Dean,
one day he was feelin' low and mean.
So he went in to the pres-i-dent
and he did say:
"I'm tired of your mysterious ways
and all this scandal you've been draggin' me through.
I'm tired of doing all your dirty work,
so I'm going to quit.
And let me make this perfectly clear:
I'm going to tell on you.
I'm going to tell the prosecutor
and tell the senate too.
So long!
That's what you get for saying:
"Don't be late
Gotta rob the Watergate"

Over thirty years have come and gone
since I first wrote this song
and I often think of the junior congressman
who became vice president
then ran for president
and lost.
When he ran again in 1968, he won,
and won in '73 too.
I don't know about you,
but I kinda wonder if his spirit's come back.
I wonder about the lies that led us to Iraq.
Is our current man
following the famous Nixon plan?
Lie and lie, and lie some more
if they don't believe you,
show 'em the door.
One we sang "Don't be late
Gotta rob the Watergate"
Now it's:
"Don't turn back,
It's time to invade Iraq!"

---

First four verses, July 17, 1973.