eustachian tube was congested, resulting in tinnitus.
I went to an ORL specialist (ear, nose & throat) a week ago Monday (1/22), and he prescribed steroids to relieve any swelling in my eustachian tube. This is my first experience with steroids.
A co-worker (whose husband is a Physician's Assistant) told me a side-effect of steroids is that one "feels good": less muscle aches, no joint pain, and so on. For me, this also translates to improved emotions. I don't mind; after being depressed from sometime in November through early January, I appreciate the change.
The first few days of the steroid script, I was just this side of manic. I had already gone almost a week without a full night's rest due to the tinnitus. The steroid-related mania made this worse: I had difficulty getting to sleep; would wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, then have difficulty getting back to sleep.
After a week of this, my brain was pretty fried. I had poor concentration, and was beginning to jabber like a speed freak.
Just the idea of insufficient rest makes me anxious. Going for over two weeks with less than 8 hrs/night was really getting to me. So I called the Physician's Asst, he prescribed Ambien, and suggested I try half a tablet a night.
Happily, that has worked. No hangover. Still feel emotionally positive. Mental accuity and concentration greatly improved. I've been taking the Ambien every other night, on average.
I recognize that I have an addictive personality (to use the most recent politically correct formulation). I've had a history of alcohol abuse, along with less legal mood-altering chemicals. Gertrude Behanna, author of The Late Liz, aptly describes one symptom of the addictive personality as the belief that "if one is enough, twenty must be better." Consequently, I tend to be very cautious about using any mood-altering medications.
The experience of the past two months suggests to me that I may need to reassess. At minimum, if I still want to avoid prescription meds, I might want to start taking St John's Wort again (which has helped in the past).
Steroids have two other side-effects that have gotten significant notice in the popular media: erectile dysfunction and rage. I have had little opportunity to test whether I suffer the first side-effect (*ahem*), but I have a theory about the second.
When I first started taking the steroids, I felt like I was running 90 miles an hour, and the rest of world was running at 5. Everyone else was going too slow, for no discernable good reason. I can understand how a person might feel frustrated, and respond violently. I personally had sufficient accuity to remind myself that this "racing" feeling was a side-effect of the drug, and that I should not respond to reality based on it.
So, life feels good at the moment. My ear is still ringing, but it is less intense. I have hope it will resolve by the end of the steroid script. My iPod is getting a lot more use than normal, because I'm playing it at work. I use wordless music as a form of white noise to distract me from the tinnitus. I keep the volume low, so I can hear the phone ring, and am aware when someone wants to get my attention.
But — a day with music is 100% better than a day without. How lucky am I that my immediate superiors (implicitly) allow me to do this!
1 comment:
A doctor once told me that when you have an inner ear problem that results in those strange sounds, what you're really hearing are all the things once doesn't normally hear - the sounds of cells doing their thing, the movement of electrons, tiny things almost always aurally invisible. Your body normally disconnects the signals from those sounds, but some ear problems don't allow that disconnect.
Ever since then I love the white noise. Atoms! Cells! It's like having xray ears!
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