State of the Lie

Good evening, my fellow stockholders. I am pleased to announce that the lies we have generated in order to maintain our power remain healthy and robust. A few lies were not as effective, but our advertising department is rapidly developing new lies, which I am confident will sustain us for years to come.

The primary lie, of course, is our "War on Terror". A high school freshman would understand that you cannot, in the traditional sense, have a war on a tactic. Yet, the majority of our customers have accepted this term without question. The coining of this phrase was genius: the word "war" generates feelings of patriotism such that few question motives or actions until it is too late. The word "terror" naturally generates fear, and people will accept any number of measures on the premise those actions will keep them safe.

Speaking of which, we have also been successful in selling the lie that we can keep people safe. There was a decline in consumer confidence following the response to Katrina, but that was restored through a personnel change.

We are successfully selling the lie that ours is a robust economy. This board of stockholders posseses 90% of our corporate wealth, although we represent 10% of the population. Eventually, the lowest classes will return to their proper status as serfs, and the middle class will cease to exist. And although even I can do the math, our customers still vote against their own self-interest.

We have sold the idea that "democracy" is an unqualified good, which can be easily exported to any country, regardless of its traditions, history, or customs. Thus, we can claim success when so-called democratic elections occur in Afganistan, Iraq, and in the Palestinian terrorities - even though the outcomes are contrary to long-term democratic interests.

Speaking of the Iraqi election, isn't great that our customers believe this was a fair and lawful election? Nevermind that the Geneva Convention does not recognize elections held under an occupying force. We only recognize the world community when it suits the goals of our shareholders.

We have not been as successful in communicating overall success in Iraq. I propose that we stop listing any dead, and refuse to ship bodies home until the conclusion of the Iraq conflict, or the end of our reign - whichever comes first.

Most of our customers believe I have the right to conduct wiretaps as I see fit, without even the semblance of oversight. This testifies to the success of our fear and patriotism advertising campaign.

We must maintain, and escalate, this fear and patriotism campaign if we hope to distract our customers. We must not allow any but the most negligible fringe from recognizing that this board of shareholders is seizing control of the corporation, and is in the process of selling its resources to the highest bidder.

In conclusion, our cloud of lies have been extremely successful. We must continue to build on them, and seize every opportunity to reinforce them. In this way, we shall realize a successful third quarter.

We move forward – optimistic about our corporation, faithful to this board of shareholders, and confident of the profits to come.

May God bless our corporation.