Idée d’jour

Those who understand the Tao delight, like cats, in just sitting and watching without any goal or result in mind. But when a cat gets tired of sitting, it gets up and goes for a walk or hunts mice. It does not punish itself or compete with other cats in an endurance test as to how long it can remain immovable – unless there is some real reason for being still, such as catching a bird.
— Alan Watts

Idée d’jour

Want to know how to catch a mouse?
Don't try to learn from a pampered cat.
To know the nature of the world,
Don't study fine-bound books.
— Shih-Te (Zen Calendar, ©2007 Workman Press)

Friday Five: ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Suggested by Reverend Mother.

1. Share, if you wish, the biggest change you experienced this past year.
   I think one reason I became depressed toward the end of the year is because there had been so little change. No romantic relationship; same job with same daily routine. Same words and phrases getting recycled in my poetry. Same pictures of the same cat. Same nightly routine with the same night-time soap operas and comedies. Same, same, same.
   
   Yes, it did become a cycle of sorts. The sameness fed the depression, and the depression lowered any energy I might have devoted to changing the routine. Some changes within the past month:
   • With the worst of my cold behind me, my mental attitude has improved
   
   
   • This attitude has also gotten an artificial boost from the steroids I'm taking for inflammation in my Eustachian tube.
   
   
   • I've started power-walking once a week at a local mall. I hope to maintain this discipline (the iPod helps), and increase the number of times I walk each week


2. Talk about a time you changed your mind about something, important or not.
   I am reminded of the first time I went to Kansas City, MO. I had gifted my former wife a trip to the jazz festival there, including a stay at a nice hotel. I seemed to have an exceptionally poor sense of direction. If I chose to turn left, I should have turned right, and vice versa. I even started playing mind games: "I think I should turn left, so I should actually turn right." Murphy's Law dominated, and in these instances it would turn out my initial instinct had been correct.


3. Bishop John Shelby Spong wrote a controversial book [titled] Why Christianity Must Change or Die. Setting aside his ideas – what kind of changes would you like to see in the Church?
   In the history of the early church, it's clear the church was not afraid of adopting ideas and images from other traditions. The earliest example of this is Paul's "To A God Unknown" sermon recorded in the Book of Acts. The church would "baptize" symbols, traditions, and concepts from other religions as a means of encouraging people to convert to Christianity.
   
   Many today have a distrust of those "pagan" symbols (e.g. Halloween). This is unfortunate. Others refuse to engage modern culture on the grounds the church will become "polluted" by it. There's no question regarding the Christian content of U2's lyrics, as one obvious example, but might there be a Christian (or at least spiritual) layer in other popular media?
   
   Can we find new meaningful titles for God and Christ? How meaningful is it to say "Jesus is Lord" when our popular concept of a lord is a relatively powerless figurehead? How meaningful is to say "The Lord is my shepherd" when most Americans have no experience of sheep outside of a zoo? Though the phrase "Jesus is my CEO" grates on my ears, it is at least a step in the right direction.


4. Have you changed your hairstyle/hair color in the last five years? If so, how many times?
   No. However, my hairstyle has changed naturally. My forehead real estate is rapidly increasing (advertising available at reasonable rates!) and I have gained a natural tonsure (as shown here).
   


5. What WERE they thinking with that New Coke thing?
   They counted on the thrill of the new, and discounted generations of customer loyalty. Fear of the new is not limited to certain denominations; the general populace tends to be resistant to rapid change.

Idée d’jour

The night light is sooty —
  a cold evening
   of snow.
— Etsujin

Riding High, Now

I have detailed some of my health issues over at my alterna-blog, Jonah 365. For the purpose of this entry, all you need to know is my
eustachian tube was congested, resulting in tinnitus.

I went to an ORL specialist (ear, nose & throat) a week ago Monday (1/22), and he prescribed steroids to relieve any swelling in my eustachian tube. This is my first experience with steroids.

A co-worker (whose husband is a Physician's Assistant) told me a side-effect of steroids is that one "feels good": less muscle aches, no joint pain, and so on. For me, this also translates to improved emotions. I don't mind; after being depressed from sometime in November through early January, I appreciate the change.

The first few days of the steroid script, I was just this side of manic. I had already gone almost a week without a full night's rest due to the tinnitus. The steroid-related mania made this worse: I had difficulty getting to sleep; would wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning, then have difficulty getting back to sleep.

After a week of this, my brain was pretty fried. I had poor concentration, and was beginning to jabber like a speed freak.

Just the idea of insufficient rest makes me anxious. Going for over two weeks with less than 8 hrs/night was really getting to me. So I called the Physician's Asst, he prescribed Ambien, and suggested I try half a tablet a night.

Happily, that has worked. No hangover. Still feel emotionally positive. Mental accuity and concentration greatly improved. I've been taking the Ambien every other night, on average.

I recognize that I have an addictive personality (to use the most recent politically correct formulation). I've had a history of alcohol abuse, along with less legal mood-altering chemicals. Gertrude Behanna, author of The Late Liz, aptly describes one symptom of the addictive personality as the belief that "if one is enough, twenty must be better." Consequently, I tend to be very cautious about using any mood-altering medications.

The experience of the past two months suggests to me that I may need to reassess. At minimum, if I still want to avoid prescription meds, I might want to start taking St John's Wort again (which has helped in the past).

Steroids have two other side-effects that have gotten significant notice in the popular media: erectile dysfunction and rage. I have had little opportunity to test whether I suffer the first side-effect (*ahem*), but I have a theory about the second.

When I first started taking the steroids, I felt like I was running 90 miles an hour, and the rest of world was running at 5. Everyone else was going too slow, for no discernable good reason. I can understand how a person might feel frustrated, and respond violently. I personally had sufficient accuity to remind myself that this "racing" feeling was a side-effect of the drug, and that I should not respond to reality based on it.

So, life feels good at the moment. My ear is still ringing, but it is less intense. I have hope it will resolve by the end of the steroid script. My iPod is getting a lot more use than normal, because I'm playing it at work. I use wordless music as a form of white noise to distract me from the tinnitus. I keep the volume low, so I can hear the phone ring, and am aware when someone wants to get my attention.

But — a day with music is 100% better than a day without. How lucky am I that my immediate superiors (implicitly) allow me to do this!

Idée d'jour

Man's last and highest parting is when, for God's sake, he takes leave
of God.
— Meister Eckhart (Zen Calendar, ©2007 Workman Press)

Ideé d’jour

Knowledge comes but wisdom lingers.
— Alfred, Lord Tennyson (Zen Calendar, ©2007 Workman Press)

Idée d’jour

It gets late early out there.
— Yogi Berra (Zen Calendar, Workman Press ©2007)
Post #1780

Idée d’jour

Lose your mind and come to your senses.
— Fritz Perls (quoted in Zen Calendar, Workman Press,
© 2007)

Netflix Que

By request, here is my Netflix Que.

Quote d’jour

The question now before the country is the one confronted by the man afraid of finding out he's been robbed. How much longer do we wish to pretend that nothing really happened, or that nothing really valuable is lost; that the crime is the losing of the Iraq war, not the making of it?
— Lewis H. Lapham, arguing for investigation of the first six years of the B*sh administration (Harper's Magazine, January 2007)

Brother Wolf

Cross-post from Jonah 365



Text reads:

Brother wolf, look!
Sister rabbit
studies shadows
in freshly fallen snow.

See full-size version of this card

I recently received a pack of blank note cards from Defenders of Wildlife which had various wolf pictures on the front. I sent this card, with the original version of the poem written inside, to Brother Dave.

Jack Kerouac would have called something like this poetic form an "American Haiku". I call it "automatic poetry" (as in, "automatic writing", cf. Wm B. Yeats) or a "postcard poem". I see this as an application of William Stafford's "poem a day" discipline.

According to Reverend Mother, "It is reported that when William Stafford was asked how he was able to write a poem every day, he said, 'I lowered my standards.'"

So, I write a postcard poem as if the words cannot be changed. No previous draft, no edits. Scribble away, then send it off to your wondering (or wonderful) correspondent.

I have "cheated", in that the version of the poem above is slightly altered from the original. OTOH, how can I cheat when I'm the one making the rules?

Idée d'jour

A mystical experience is not any more unique than a modern experiment in physics. On the other hand, it is not less sophisticated, either .... The complexity and efficiency of the physicist's technical apparatus is matched, if not surpassed, by that of the mystic's consciousness .... A page from a journal of modern experimental physics will be as mysterious to the uninitiated as a Tibetan mandala. Both are records of inquiries into the nature of the universe.
— Fritjof Capra (quoted in this year’s Zen Calendar, ©2007 Workman Publishing)

Post #1775

Friday Five: Renewal / "Be Still"

Today's Friday Five (assigned by Rev. Songbird) are especially appropriate for me this week. Between my tinnitus, and the steroids I'm currently taking to resolve it (as detailed in this entry on Jonah 365), I haven't had a full night's rest in a little over two weeks.

In brief, the assignment is to "List four ways you like to relax or give yourself a break. Then name a fifth, something you've never been able to do, a self-care dream."

1. The main way I relax is with the infamous boob tube. That being said, there are degrees:
   
   
   1. Full zombie mode. It barely matters what's on; I'll stare at the screen, mouth agape, for hours on end. Even pabulum like "Navy CIS" or "Criminal Minds". I don't even mute the commercials.
   
   
   2. Moderate zombie mode. I'm more discerning about what I watch - "quality shows" on network TV (e.g., "My Name Is Earl"), PBS programming, one of my many pre-owned movies, or the latest DVD in my Netflix queue.
   
   
   3. Engaged zombie mode. Still watching broadcast TV, sometimes a mix of "quality" and pabulum, but I mute the sound during commercials and read a magazine (e.g., Shambhala Sun or Oxford American).


2. Read a book, sometimes with music playing in the background, sometimes not. I mostly read during my lunch hour at work; I'm currently reading James Elroy's The Black Dahlia.


3. Listen to music. Considering the size of my music collection (LP, tape, minidisk,CD, and now iPod), not as often as you might think.


4. Lay on the couch with my favorite feline companion asleep on my lap.


5. I have had different levels of massage – both chair and full – with very positive results. However, my last massage was almost a year ago. My dream form of relaxation, then, would be to get a massage more often.

W-I-P: Prayer Flags

Continuation of the poem-in-progress described here, and begun here.

II.
Southeast wind sails from the Gulf of Mexico
brings fresh rain
to the ancient hills.
From this sacred mountain
I see the white buffalo dance
I see the enemy run in confusion
I see our people gathered in peace
I offer thanks to the sky
to the clouds and the sun.
The yellow morning sun.

I drive a stake
in the side of the mountain
I cut a lock of my hair
and tie it to the stake
with a golden streamer
The stake is on the southeast side of the hill
to greet the morning
but the wind
delivers my prayer to the northwest
where the ancestors dwell.

---

As a special treat, here's a picture of the holograph of the first two pages (actual size ˜3.25" - 5.5" per page); click on the image to see a PDF of the first four pages, plus "Grocery List" (published on the Jonah 365 site).
In this current image, you see the beginning of the poem on the verso (left) and some notes on the recto (right).

Catch Up on Project 365

Cross-post from Jonah 365
Invoking a poet/author/creator's right to change his/her mind, I've decided to play catch up for the first 17 days of this year, and to up-date existing entry titles accordingly.

Because I've post-dated the catch up entries, they have already scrolled to the archive page (see the "Older Posts") link at the bottom of the Jonah 365 page. The new entries are titled "1/365 - 10/365" and "11/365 - 17/365".

Prayer Flags - work in progress

Continuation of poem in progress as described below
I.
Enter the cave of the east wind
where shadows consume remorse.
Solstice flames flicker
and pictographs hunt.
Honor the stout heart,
the limbs and sinews,
that provided a good hunt:
"Your heart is my heart;
your blood is my blood;
your flesh will feed a proud people;
your spirit provides strength
for our clan."
My prayer is red,
the blood red of
the setting sun.

Other shadows flicker,
of my own birth
under a gold suburban sun.
Some shadows are vague,
diffuse at the edges,
almost forgotten.
Others still are haunted
and seem to dog my steps.

Idée d'jour

Imagine a world in which generations of human beings come to believe that certain films were made by God or that specific software was coded by him. Imagine a future in which millions of our descendants murder each other over rival interpretations of Star Wars or Windows 98. Could anything — anything — be more ridiculous? And yet, this would be no more ridiculous than the world we are living in.
– Sam Harris, author (1967- )

Mr. Harris is such a virulent atheist, he makes Richard Dawkins look like a piker. Nevertheless, I'm amused by the thought of religious wars based on rival interpretations of Windows 98 (don't get me started on Windows vs. Apple or UNIX vs. DOS).

Military judge applied double standard

The following is an editorial written by my brother, Dave, which appeared in the Austin American-Statesman (Austin, TX) on Tuesday, January 23. His comment follows an editorial published in the Monday edition of the paper which basically refers to Lt. Watada as a traitor.

On January 17th, Lt. Col. John Head ruled on a motion in the court martial of Lt. Ehren Watada. Watada refused deployment to Iraq on the grounds that the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) requires military personnel to refuse illegal orders. Watada’s attorneys intended to argue that since the invasion of Iraq is a crime under international law and the UN Charter, Watada was carrying out his duty to refuse an illegal order. Judge Head ruled that "whether the war is lawful" is a political question that cannot be decided by a military court.

In 1945, when the US-led Nuremberg Tribunal began, the jurists turned first to the invasion of Poland by Germany in 1939. The Tribunal found an invasion based on allegations of a threat posed at some future time to be a war crime. This ruling provided the legal foundation for subsequent prosecution and conviction of German officers and officials whose defense was "I was only following orders". Rejection of the defense by the Tribunal led to the requirement that US military personnel follow only lawful orders.

The Nuremberg ruling established the concept of preventive war, as contrasted with preemptive war. The UN Charter makes clear that preemptive war, one in which the threat by another country is clear and immediate, is within the rights of a nation. Preventive war is not.

Lt. Col. Head’s ruling, denying Lt. Watada the ability to lodge his defense on grounds that it is not a matter for a military court, flies in the face of the critical precedents established by the Nuremberg Tribunal; itself a military court.

Another Army Lieutenant stood trial before a military court 36 years ago. Charged with 6 counts of murdering civilians at the massacre in the village of My Lai, Lt. William Calley offered the defense that he had "just been following orders". That court martial rejected his defense, ruling in accordance with UCMJ provisions.

It is clear the Army applied a double standard in the case of Lt. Watada. The invasion of Iraq has not come before an international court. However legal experts from around the world and former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan have condemned it as illegal. Clearly, Lt. Watada had a sound basis for his sincere belief that to follow his deployment orders would be an act in furtherance of a war crime. That the court has denied him the right to argue his innocence at his February 5th court martial on that basis is a travesty of justice, makes a mockery of the rule of law and places all US service personnel at great legal risk.

Lt. Watada did what he has sworn to do and now faces the wrath of the US Army for so doing.

Dave C—
USMC 1967-71

Idée d’jour

The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity.
– Ludwig Wittgenstein

From this time forward I make you hear new things, hidden things you have not known.
– Isaiah 48:1-11